Tantanan na!

A friend told me this when I asked for advice during a "beer session".

"Tantanan na. Bakit, kayo pa ba?", she asked. She said this in her usual calm tone. Those words struck my heart and just made me feel the big hole in it. Yeah right. We're just friends now. And letting each other know our whereabouts won't speed up the healing process. It's just not the old days anymore. Everything should be different now. 'Coz things are DEFINITELY different now.

But why does she still inform me when she's on her way home or just woke up? Why does she still call me up at home just to check how I am doing? Why does she still show that she cares though she can't tell that she still does love me? Or does she really care?

"Para sa 'kin kasi, 'pag tapos na dapat wala na talaga. Move on na. Masyado lang humahaba 'yung sufferings mo..." I got the point. I agree.

But she said she'd still be here for me 'coz we were friends even before we had that special kind of relationship. I remember her saying, "Ikaw pa rin naman ang nag-iisang Dico ko. Sisiguraduhin kong kukulitin pa rin kita. Hindi naman ako mawawala. Nandito pa rin ako."

Then how can I possibly move on?

Headache.